Stupid buzzwords and phrases - Vlog / Blog / etc..

Sometimes I think I woke up on another planet which uses a different language compared to what I was taught at school. Almost every week yet another trendy buzzword appears. I have compiled a quick list of buzzwords which I pretty much hate so far ...

Vlog
========================================
The new kid on the block (first time I heard it) and I already hate it. What the hell is a Vlog? Well, it's a video log apparently.

Blog
=======================================
Absolutely the worst ever buzzword to appear
The net is now jammed full of "bloggers". Where did all these people come from? Why do they think the whole world would be interested in what they had for dinner or what they think about politics??
I thought we were aleady writing articles before some bird brain decides we need to a new label

Podcast
========================================
Old but I still hate hearing it. Equally as bad as Blog

Edutainment
========================================
Don't even get me started on this one!
Whoever coined this phrase really needs urgent medical attention


So, before the next wave of lunatic buzzwords hit the net I reckon we could nail a few down and claim roots. Here's my contributions:

"Slog" - To produce a sound log
"Slogger" - A person who produces sound logs for a living (although I can already think of an alternative existing word!)




Other sayings/phrases I really hate


Rich content
===============
Companies now offer you software with rich content and naturally need to charge you a premium for this

Rich user experience
====================
You have lost me there. I don't seem to be getting any wonderful feeling from using your bloat-o-matic .Net product? I got a richer experience long ago playing Pitfall 2 on the C64. Next! ..

Scalable Solutions
===================
I don't even know what this means in the grand scheme of things but I want to implode upon reading it



Oh, and for the record this is NOT a blog. I repeat .. NOT a blog

I kind of agree on a few of your points with the glaring exception of 'Scalable Solutions'... If you don't understand this I would suspect you don't have a job as an application programmer.

And I'm slightly curious what you have against .Net? After all, you use blitz which is effectively a wrapper for lower level functions which is exactly what .net is doing.

This thread has "hit the ground running".

*stab stab stab* :/

Sure, but then what word are we gonna use for people who routinely weigh anchor?

Dunno..... sailors?

Anchor Mass Executives?

I hate these words

1.Content - this could mean anything, you may as well say 'stuff' or 'things' it annoys me.

2.Solutions - I once read a companies website that said they offer solutions for small business - what does that even mean?

I dont particularly mind Blog or Slog because these are new things to appear in society so you have to call them something.

I don't mean to be picky be isn't there a difference between weight and mass?

I would have said "Aquatic vehicle non-momentum device gravitational measurement Executives". :)

I could be wrong about the "non-momentum" bit as I haven't calculated ocean/river currents and the length of the chain.

Content = More sh*t to read

Solutions = Holy sh*t more problems.

> Solutions - I once read a companies website that said they offer solutions for small business - what does that even mean?

It seems companies latch onto whatever is in vogue in case they feel left out. Scalable solutions being to big one at the moment

Briefly, NET programs seem awfully slow to load and sluggish to use from my experience. My TV software takes 45 seconds load and settle down before I can actually watch anything. Changing channels is a complete pig. Ugly and messy.


Back to the buzzwords and phrases ..


Social Networking
======================
A place to meet up with friends and make connections
Didn't we used to call this the pub?

Content Delivery System
=======================
Look ma, I have a download link

I don't mean to be picky but if you don't mean to be picky what do you mean to be? :p

That sounds a lot like bad programming to me, and little to do with .net. I use .net every day at work, code .net every day and have no issue with it. Certainly they're more efficient languages out there, but I would argue that .net calls are generally pretty tight. Granted, it 'was' a big download, but it's part of the OS now.

Maddox pretty much sums it all up.

Though not computer related... I was working on a site skimming away and there was a kid putting some kingspan in between the roof joists. It was at the hip part of the roof which meant he had to cut the length of kingspan at an angle at the top.

There was also some suits there walking around and this youngun was having trouble getting the kingspan in between the joists. One of them was watching, and suggested that he should cut the length square under the angle, then offer the angle to the the roof hip before putting the rest of the length up.

Yes, he used the work 'offer', to mean 'put that bit there'!

What a cheesy knob end!!!

Hopefully p*ssed as a newt by nine o'clock ;)

@FlameDuck neat ;)
My be "neat" should join the list ?

Offer it up - Yes. That's used regularly at our work place too. Mainly by the older folk - "Offer it up with the other part and see if it fits"

Gotta love Maddox's style ..


He's right too about the annoying trend for articles to be filled with mid-sentence links. Especially those that have great big popup boxes which open up if you fail to navigate the mouse around the words

You should remove the second link AVG detects a threat whenever I open it.

The second and third links are also giving that warning.

I think this thread has "taken me out of my comfort zone".



Ugh.

Well, you will hate to hear it, but your post reads like a blog. ;-)

This is not meant to be personal, and is not targeted at anybody (here) specific. It's just a general statement.

Yes, marketing and trend buzzwords suck. My personal negative favorite buzzwords are "social networks" and "Web 2.0". What a pile of crap!

But at the same time it is always easy to bitch and hard to create, so most people are just too happy with the bitching instead of providing an alternative. Especially on the anonymous web (2.0 TM), where it is hard to hold people responsible for their tone, manners, rudeness and aggression.

Maybe people blog because they love to write, keep a diary, or just use it as a means to sort their own thoughts. Maybe not all of them care whether the world is interested in it or not. Maybe they just do it for themselves. Or maybe they hope to get some attention from somebody who cares. After all, this is a very lonely world we live in. Just because it does not interest you or me or anybody else here does not mean it won't interest others somewhere.

We don't have to read it. We don't have to listen to it or watch it. And we don't have to comment on anything. So as long as they are not hurting anybody with it, let the people blog and podcast and "tube".

Whatever their individual reasons are, every living person has a story worth telling and worth being listened to. Whoever doubts that, does not know what respect is.

Here are two more specific arguments for blogging:

For people on the job hunt: Many employers (like MySQL AB) care about your blog and base their hiring decision on the existence and the content of your blog/webpage. A blog definitely says more about the job applicant and his or her way of thinking than a stupid, shallow cover letter.

For (open source) developers and other "content" providers/creators: It's your communication window to your users and the community around your project/product. It's the most accepted and wanted form for obtaining information updates from you. People really want to know what you're up to - just look at the strong reactions that Mark Sibly's last worklog produced.

There's a load of other arguments for blogging, but others can add to the list if they feel like it.

And, you know, I discovered for myself that instead of posting the same crap redundant on dozens of forums, it sometimes might be a better idea to just write one blog (or article) about the topic and just post a link to it.

Blogging is just short for web logging, which is really just a personal online journal someone keeps. In short, a place for you to cram things that people can read, but where it won't be shoved in someone else's face.

The term 'blog' is rather unfortunate, because it sounds like something you'd call a toilet, but now that it's somehow more understood what it means than a web log or journal than those terms specifically, it's best to identify something as that. I keep one for myself, mostly so I have a place to whine and post things I make.

Vlog is something I refuse to acknowledge. Just ain't right.

Slog I would approve of if all people doing it were given large slug tattoos on their backs.

Also, for buzzwords that will really affect your work in a negative way, see: XML, AJAX, Enterprise, Framework, and so on. Some people will disagree with XML being useless, but I would kindly ask you all to jump off a bridge and spare me your love of bloated formats.

People who write to your blog/post/whatever explaining in great detail why you're an idiot, why your children are idiots, why it's a pity you were born and why the human race would be better off if you ceased to exist.

And then they sign off with 'just my two cents'.

See: youtube comments.

@Noel:
Can you shrink that image? It doesn't fit on my 640*480 screen.

I think we're all singing from the same hymn sheet now.

+Juan ( actually I don't think XML is entirely useless, just waaaay overused and hyped. Hammer. World. Nail. )

One term that I absolutely loathe is "rich"( when its used in any software/web/IT speak ). Microsoft I am looking at you!

"A rich user experience"

"Dynamic, rich content"

UGH. >.<

And yes, with every nerd or IT marketer on the net trying to be the next
big thing -- we have too many stupid terms and acronyms, but its only gonna keep getting worse.

I've removed one column to be nice. Less than two columns and I no longer derive any amusement from it.

i liked three columns better, it yelled louder.

Too bad, you only get two now.

Heh... I just found a link to this through the indiegamer forums--> http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

"competently incubate best-of-breed mindshare"
"continually matrix real-time manufactured products"
"enthusiastically initiate corporate e-business"
"progressively revolutionize leading-edge web-readiness"

There. Now anyone can create the next big buzz.

I prefer the word Breasticles. It has no use on the web.

Well, it probably does, but I aint gonna check.

"2.5D"

Gah, you can't have half a dimension!

Same with "the average number of children per family is 2.4". Whos got 0.4 of a kid? (unless you're Fred West or a children's care home in Jersey, but that's for another discussion)...

Its the americanisms & idiotisms i cant stand, like:

iller (as in more ill)
deader (?!WTF!?)
normalcey (cy?, cie? I hate this one!)
convieniality
capacitize
cleverosity
etc..

"English" is mutating fast.

This list i found on google are less striking and used/known by everyone now, but some are quite amusing (no wonder english is often confusing)

American term                                    English term

ATM (Automated Teller Machine)        cash machine
divided highway                           dual carriageway
elevator                                     lift
exit                                            way out
laundromat                                   launderette
lining up or forming a line            queue/queuing
parking lot                                  car park
potato chips                                  crisps
Fries                                         chips
shopping cart                              shopping trolley
soft shoulder (highway sign)          soft verges
"to go"                                         take-away food
traffic circle                                  roundabout
truck                                           lorry (trucks originally meant goods waggons on a railway) 
Breakdown lane                          Hard Shoulder
Rubber                                      Condom
Eraser                                         Rubber
quit                                          exit/stop/end (dep. context)

Whats more amusing that many of these only translate left to right, but not back again so succesfully. :)

..no wonder i was confused when american called me 'ata boy' .. ihh ..

Maybe he was talking about your hard drives....

In (real) english that would translate as "Your'e the man!"

>>Maybe he was talking about your hard drives....<<
nope..he wasnt talking about hard drives..I have posted question for this some time ago here..its happen after my 2 coleagues and me use to fix few CNC machines for plastic molding in Singapore (some local expert screwed software), so after things came back in to life, he called me that..so initially i was unable to respond since I have no idea what does that mean and my english is not that polished..so I remain calm since his facial expression was friendly..

I was joking.

ATM (Automated Teller Machine)        cash machine

AKA "'ole in wall"

Fries                                         chips

Fries = Thinly cut bits of potatoes, fried and served with a bread bun that claims to have 100% minced meat in the middle and passed off as a meal that only children and people that have no taste buds can stomach. I think that the packaging that said meal comes in has a higher nutritional value (clue to where said meal is served "Golden Arches").

Chips = Thick cut bits of potatoes that when dropped on your toes will break said appendages, fried and and served with a number of popular British side orders that include half a roast chicken,various types of steak and the most popular of all fried fish in batter. That only real men/women can handle.

The way that some game industry refer to their games as "product" annoys me. No, Mr. Middle-Management-Suit, you make games. You're part of the games industry. Get over yourself. You're not fooling anyone, you pompous twit.

Oh, and "proactive". Another meaningless word. If I was conducting an interview with a potential employee, I'd kick out anyone who described themselves or their outlook as "proactive". I wouldn't even let them finish their sentence.

"So what do you consider to be your strengths?"
"Well, I'm a proactive -"
"Get out."

Police speak also irritates me. You know: "I was proceeding along the street at at approximately eight A.M when..." Isn't a police statement supposed to be precise? So you were "proceeding" down the street were you? Was that in a car? Walking? Hopping? Flying? Wriggling along on your belly like a snake? Any policeman incapable of even describing how he got from A to B clearly deserves to be fired.

Why does no one still say "The Information Superhighway"?

Because that implies its fast.

In the UK we call it "The Information Dirt Track with a Broken Down Tractor Blocking it".

@JustLuke

Middle-Management? Tell me about it ..

Our middle-management love using "Moving forwards" in emails. That phrase is annoying beyond any level of fair treatment
It's as if they are all robots and learn to use the same trendy speak simultaneously. Example:


Me:
"Mr Middle-Manager, The machine failed to ship due to a faulty fuse"

Middle-Manager:
"Ok, we will implement a new procedure moving forwards to check all fuses prior to installation"

Me:
"Thanks ... and to improve my well being may I suggest you jump off a cliff? Moving forwards of course!"


Oh, and I equally hate how computer-related operations must start with "e-" -> e-commerce, e-business

And who the hell invented the phrase Human Resources?

Probably a personnel manager somewhere who couldn't spell 'personnel'.

Would 'Human Remains' be more appropriate?

iMac, iPhone, iPod, iWhatever...?

^---LOL!


Just remember, if you are ever in the states, working your 'thing' with some girls in a bar, DO NOT say "I need a fag", that you are "Just popping out to buy some fags" or that you are "going to smoke a fag".
You can kind of guarantee they wont be there when you return. Might even phone the cops over the last one :D

Funny I thought it was just called "Bored Band" because you can die of boredom waiting for some thing to happen.

For ironic effect. Kinda like how one would say "The Internets".