Suggestions for plot development in my game?

For my coming game Aelon...no programming requests yet (I'll make a second post to see if any programmers are interested in giving advice and tutoring, with our without pay,) but for now I'm making sprites, music, sounds and writing plot elements and descriptions of the game mechanics.

Anyway, I want feedback on what you guys think of the plot so far...ideas for expansion and such. I just want your input if that's okay.

[url=http://www.freewebs.com/d2warrior/aelon.htm]Here's the plot[/url]

[url=http://www.freewebs.com/d2warrior/Aelon/Characters/Hero%201%20GIF.gif]Here's the protagonist[/url], unnamed at the moment.

[a http://www.freewebs.com/d2warrior/aelon.htm"]Here's the plot[/a]

Here's the protagonist, unnamed at the moment.

For future reference, change "url=http:" to "a http:" and "/url" to "/a".

I like the drawing of the protagonist. I would call him Kerr. ;)

Thanks. I'm so used to using HTML or BBCode fpr URL links.