Funny comments?

Does anybody else get carried away with their comments and start putting in jokes/odd allusions to things that were originally funny when you were in a geeky coding trance?

If you do, put them here!
Don't be shy; nobody will laugh.
(Well, not at you... personally...).


While commenting my PHP stuff, (which I foolishly only started commenting today because I underestimated the speed of the thing... and my past self decided that commenting caused slowdown and never changed his ways), I looked back through it a few hours later to find all sorts of weird comments:

rewinddir($r_rootdir); //Always remember to rewind your tapes, or it will come back to haunt you in the future!

If you've seen/read The Princess Bride (which is a great movie), you'll know what this is about...

//If a top-level section is selected, we can go onwards to THE MACHINE. (Sub section list/options).

Incredibly hellish code follows.


See; my additions so far to this thread are terrible, but the only way you can get away with saying that is if you prove that you have seen better.

Only one I could find.

' Kindof funnny reading this
If so Then Throw "Incorrect string syntax, expected ~q, got EOL"

Back in the Commodore 64 days, we used to do this geeky little thing that always elicited a chuckle...

All you needed was a C-64 without a diskdrive (or have it shut off)

(My brother's name is Brian, so I'll pick on him now as I did then)

     **** COMMODORE 64 BASIC V2 ****
 64K RAM SYSTEM   38911 BASIC BYTES FREE

READY.
LOAD"BRIANS BRAIN",8,1
SEARCHING FOR BRIANS BRAIN
?DEVICE NOT PRESENT
READY.

Reminds me of those old jokes like:

int eger = 0;   /* har har */

And this sweet list. I spent forever reading this over
and over again. Can't get enough of it!!
http://www.gameai.com/youknow.html

Most of my comments are serious notes to myself. I did find this, though:

;No nonsense about "reversed" or "blank" runes - that's tacked-on, new age crap

Then there's:

;don't scale to 0 or it'll go away for good

and

;it has no length, so it is, by definition, size 0.  Since that's not possible, hide it

Kind of amusing taken out of context:

'adapted from neilo's Arabic version

Sorry, not too funny...

I like "int eger" though <g>.

These are from some business software I've been writing for 9 years with various team members contributing, these ones about Adrian *may* be funny:

Here are some snippets from two of my earlier games

Else
;that was odd we shouldn't have done this...
RuntimeError("Update Creatures: PlayerStruck.PlayerObject = null")
EndIf 

or

	If pressfire<>0 And pressaltfire<>0  Then 
		;nothing here yet as not sure what exactly should be performed at this point....
		EndIf 
	

or

If Target.PlayerObject=Null Then 
;do nothing - it may have already died or been removed by another attack or something, is okay.

or

		If (Player\PreviousFourSquares[0]=Player\PreviousFourSquares[2] And Player\PreviousFourSquares[1]=Player\PreviousFourSquares[3]) Then 
		;do nothing out of the ordinary...
		
		
		Else 

and also,

		If player\isboss=True Then 
		;end mean and nasty sorceress code goes here.  Not very modular or pretty but it should work hopefully...
		;
		;
		;

or at the end of an if .. endif statement

EndIf ;able to do stuff

and some more

;need to acquire these values from somewhere, not hard coded either
Emitter\QuadUpperV=EmitterData\QuadUpperV
Emitter\QuadLowerV=EmitterData\QuadLowerV
Emitter\QuadLeftU=EmitterData\QuadLeftU
Emitter\QuadRightU=EmitterData\QuadRightU

After looking through a lot of my code I just realised I probably don't comment often enough, but fortunately with my code it is pretty easy to follow, I think.

Lol @ Grey. That Adrian guy must have messed that proejct up pretty bad :)

My most-used comment:

  ;MOO
Runtimeerror "Moo!"

Thats used for debugging :P

I loved www.gameai.com/youknow.html - thanks for that.
Dilbert _is_ the truth.

Can I just add:-

The director who came into my office and said "I had a great idea for copy protection, and I want _you_ to code it!"
To which I said "Dan - you already did, and I already have. It's been on your shelf for 18 months."

Or the coder who slid into a chair next to me and said quietly "I need to make this algo run more than once. How do I do that?"
And I said "What, sort of like a loop?"
And he said "Yeah, a loop - I think that's what it's called - how do I do that?"
He was earning as much as me, and I'd been coding 20 years.

lol @ John's "loop" story :-) Also that website is good, thanks.

John, where were you working at the time of the loop incident? If they employ monkeys like that, even I could get a job there ;)

No funny comments, but I once wrote a function HaulAss()

funny comments? no, mine are all serious but i could make some up?

how about

Where was I working?
- The company folded 6 months later.

There's always the old

and then there's

I think these are the best:

 ;if we dont for-loop x 1 through 100, it will never reach 100 and therefore the following IF statement will fail to reach its conditions.

this thread from halo's site cracked me up...

http://www.leadwerks.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=644

Lol. My software throws "crap" and "poo" error messages when in debug too :P

I can't possibly post any of my comments as they're almost always things like "And don't forget to close it, $*$*"£*%" or "Better delete it since you'll probably forget to do it manually, *£*£&F*D"()£"

All that and I'm not even my harshest critic :)