i think i see what is confusing you. boy this is gonna be tough to explain... ill give it a shot.
ok the biggest thing that caused me grief when making the car project was how do we derive and orientation and position from a structure that has no clue about its orientation. also since its made of nothing more than point masses and simple springs it does not have a central mass we can easily call its center of gravity.
so the center of gravity part is the easiest to solve. we use a point mass where we want the center of gravity for the object to be and store that off in a user type that defines it as our vehicles CG. all position calculation such as speed are derived from the position of this point mass. ok so now we got position handled. we know where our vehicle is in the world. but we still dont have a clue about its orientation. nor do we know much about the other point masses other than they are connected to the center.
so to solve orientation we use the align to vector trick that was mentioned earlier. it sounds like you understand part. but that still doesnt help us make good decisions on how to handle all the other "parts" of the vehicle. so the trick is to get two measurement systems running parralell to each other. one will be our global coordinates, and the other will be coordinates that are relative to the CG of the vehicle. you can easily swap between them with the functions transform vector, transformpoint etc. use the master pivot as the local axis system. this is easily done if we have aligned it properly before we swap axis systems.
so anyways ive prolly lost you by now =). but the goal of all this is so we can position things properly so they make sense visually. dont think of it as a parent child relationship. think of it as two axis systems and youll be on track to figuring it out.
also here is where i got my start from
http://www.blitzbasic.com/codearcs/codearcs.php?code=688miracle took an article from the web and wrote up a blitz version. thats a great place to start since the code isnt as long or as specialized and mine.